Starting to Meditate

One of my goal's has been able to meditate on a daily basis for a few minutes, in order to have a clearer mind, less stress in my life, and less anxiety. I've tried a few different times to sit quietly, clear my head, and just "be." It is definitely not as easy as I thought it would be, especially with an anxious mind that is always running. I can not usually turn my head off in the summer; I'm always thinking what I "need" to do next or what I "could" be doing next.

And, thus, the reason that I want to start meditating. 

This past year has been challenging in itself with stress: I started a new migraine treatment, I had a crazy year at work with the most new students I've ever gotten before Christmas break, and I went through a debilitating bought with depression. To say the least, last year wasn't my favorite year, but I want to come back to feeling a sense of peace with myself and my life. A calmness, an okay-ness with just living life every day and just being me.

So here are my goals for meditation this summer:


I thought I could use some help getting started, so I found this great book in my friend's Instagram bookshop @littleseasideshop:

I am super excited to dive into this one. The book offers a modern approach to meditation and touts a more simple look at beginning meditation. I'm hoping it can help me start meditating quickly and help me maintain daily meditation. I'm starting this book next, so I can't wait to see where it takes me.

One other thing I am doing is being more mindful of what I am doing in my down time. It's so easy to turn on the television or radio as background noise while I'm blogging, writing, or reading. The last few weeks, I've been purposefully turning off the "noise" and just being--sitting in the quietness. It is quite relaxing and peaceful. I am going to continue to do this every day: allow for quietness and stillness in my life.

I also created a Pinterest Board with some interesting pins about meditation, yoga, and relaxation. I am going to continue to find helpful pins to add to this board throughout the summer. If you'd like to follow my meditation board on Pinterest, you can click here. 

I'll post an update once I get into meditating and share my successes and pitfalls. Wish me luck, relaxation, and a peaceful mind! ;)

Have you ever tried to meditate? What problems have you had? What have you found to work for you?

Love and happiness <3 Holly

This is Anxiety.

Unsettled:

Unnerved,
Uneasy,
Fidgety,
On Edge,
Complex,
Restless,

Anxious.

Sometimes I hate downtime. Honestly, I really love downtime to the core of my being. It's my anxiety and OCD that hate it. 

Well, my dogs sure do love downtime!

Downtime causes my brain to have too much freedom to wander off into Anxiety Land, causing 

unsettled,
unnerved,
uneasy,
fidgety,
on edge,
complex,
restless,
anxious feelings to pulse throughout my body. 


It's funny how something so revered--freedom, fun, relaxation--can cause so much havoc and stress in my every day. 

It starts in my brain; my brain tells my body that something is "off," something's "not right." I need to be doing something. My brain tells my body that non-productiveness is ridiculous. 

Ignoring my anxiety brain, I try to remain relaxed and calm, but those feelings soon shoot throughout my body like electricity. I begin to feel unnerved, jumpy, jittery, unable to sit still. I sometimes feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin if I don't get up and do something. And my brain is screaming, "JUST GET UP AND DO SOMETHING FOR GOD'S SAKE!" 

I've had a few of these days lately, few and far between from how many I have had throughout most of my life, but enough to make me feel fidgety, on edge. 

That's the thing about anxiety: it's unpredictable. It can wake you from a deep sleep. It can bring down the happiest of days. It hits you in the face like a ton of bricks. Yet you keep pushing it down, ignoring it, blocking it, but the physical affects of anxiety are real and hard to ignore. 

It's hard to make yourself get up (when you want to be relaxing) and run up and down the stairs or jump up and down or dance when you don't feel like it. Sometimes releasing the energy is the only way to bring the anxiety down. It doesn't always work, but it's usually a hit, not a miss. 

Some days I just get tired of the unknown, the rapid fire, the frustration, the restlessness. It gets old.

My goal is happiness, contentment--so I will continue on with this journey, even though the battle gets draining sometimes. I wish I could step in a boxing ring with my anxiety and give it a piece of my mind. Sometimes I've had enough and would just like a vacation from the anxiousness. I can handle it--I do every day. 

Some days it's just hard to feel turned upside down and dangled by your ankles when you just want to do nothing but relax and feel 

settled,
content,
blissful,

happy.

Do you ever have days like that?



Love and happiness <3 Holly