Going All In Is Not Always As Easy As It Sounds

As a teacher, I hope that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I can make a difference in the life of my students. That's all I can hope for. Starting at a new school district this year has been challenging. It was also not an easy decision to make. For the past nine years. I developed relationships with other teachers, my students, and their families. I knew I'd have mixed emotions about leaving once I made the decision to go, but I never realized the emotional roller coaster that would come with this change.

The reading corner in my former classroom

I left a family, a family I developed relationships with. We laughed together, we cried together, and we supported each other. I had gotten into a routine; I felt comfortable where I was, but I decided it was time for a change. I made a conscious decision to jump into the cold water and let what would happen, happen. And things happened. I got offered a new job, and I decided to accept the position.

The initial excitement of feeling needed somewhere hit me. It was the beginning of a new journey. After a few days, I battled with the decision of leaving my current job. Am I making the right decision? Should I really do this? That step of the life changing process lasted awhile. I knew in my heart I was making the right decision; my mind (especially my OCD mind) doubted everything I did. That was a tough battle. I kept questioning whether I was listening to my intuition by taking on this new opportunity or making the wrong decision. 

Drawing from a former student

Doubt. My OCD loves doubt. It plays with my emotions and keeps me wondering if I did the right thing or if I made the wrong choice. After some time battling with my doubt OCD, I finally started to tell myself--I did the right thing. I knew I did, but squashing those doubtful thoughts was not always easy.

My confusion and frustration turned into excitement again. I started thinking of new teaching ideas, getting excited for my upcoming professional development, and meeting new people. That excitement lasted for awhile until it was almost time for school to start. A new emotion gave way and was extremely hard to shake off. I was extremely sad. I was sad for leaving my good friends, for leaving the students whom I love so much, the people who cared for me every day for the last nine years. That was a rough feeling. Leaving my job was like a loss I had to work through. I think the sadness was the hardest emotion during this time of change. There were some teary-eyed days. Talking to my friends or texting them made me feel infinitely more sad. It was a hard realization that I was starting over.

Tears, uncertainty, excitement, and anxiety: what an unexpected ride. 

Pine cone gift from a former student.

After the first month of school, I had gotten into more of a routine and the sadness lifted. I feel good about my decision. I always had; it was just really difficult to separate the emotions I was feeling from the choice I made and the reason I made it. 

My new classroom

Bottom line: I'm getting my work done and not taking it home, I have a manageable caseload, and I love ESL kiddos. I've realized now that the anxiety and sadness has passed, that I did the right thing. I will never forget my years at my former job. I belonged there, and I love that I felt so comfortable in my skin. But I keep reminding myself I was there for 9 years. 9 years of building relationships. 9 years for people to get to know me. 

New endeavors always start out with a sense of uneasiness, especially when you have anxiety. Eventually, people will get to know me, and I will get to know people too. Students will do the same, and so will their families. It takes time to build relationships, and I am looking forward to doing so. I can't say that my emotions about leaving my former job will never resurface. And if they do, its okay. I welcome those feelings with open arms. After all, it is hard to leave one family you love to start building a new one.


Love and happiness <3 Holly

The Rory Gilmore Challenge

One of my bookish IG friends recently started a challenge--you may have heard of it--among our other book-loving IG friends. The challenge is to read the 339 books that Rory Gilmore was seen reading or mentioned throughout the course of The Gilmore Girls series (or at least try to). 

Here is a link to the entire list of books in the challenge: Rory's Books. It's a daunting list for sure, but I love the fact that working on this challenge has gotten me to read books that I most likely would never have picked up otherwise. I just started the challenge in July, so I haven't finished a ton of these books.Plus I'm reading other choices too. But I am really enjoying reading out of my comfort zone!

Here are the books that I have read in prior years before I started the challenge:

1. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

2. The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

3. Babe by Dick King-Smith

4. Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White

5. The Crucible by Arthur Miller

6. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

7. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells

8. Eloise by Kay Thompson

9. Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective by Donald J. Sobol

10. Gidget by Fredrick Kohner

11. Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen

12.  Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Alvin Granowsky

13. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

14. How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

15. Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee

16. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

17. The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen

18. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

19. Lord of the Flies by William Golding

20. The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson

21. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

22. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

23. My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult

24. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

25. The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin

26. Night by Elie Wiesel

27. The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton

28. Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi

29. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

30.  Rapunzel by Grimm Brothers

31. The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe

32.  Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

33. The Scarecrow of Oz by Frank L. Baum

34. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

35. Snow White and Rose Red by Grimm Brothers

36. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

37. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

38. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

39. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

40. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

41. Walt Disney’s Bambi by Felix Salten

42. The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum

And from July through the first two weeks of August, I have added the following books to the "read" list:

    

And here's what I have lined up to read next:

   

   

Have you ever tried the Rory Gilmore Challenge?

What are you reading at the moment?

Love and happiness <3 Holly

Tried It Tuesday

I'm linking up today with Casey over at Hey, Momma for her Link Party #5!

It's time for another installment of Tried It Tuesday! Yay! I've missed writing these posts, so I'm going to share some of the things I've been loving over the summer! Since I haven't posted a Tried It Tuesday in awhile, I'll quickly explain the premise of it:

Tried It Tuesday is a place where I share things that I have been loving. The items can come in any shape or form (makeup, books, YouTube videos, food, drinks, recipes, music, etc.). I am not endorsed by any of the companies who make these products. I just love to share the things I'm really liking at the moment in case it's something you'd be interested in too!

Make sure you let me know if you have tried something new that you love! I would love to check it out! :)

Drinks

I have migraines...really bad migraines. I was getting frustrated because my migraines have been much more under control lately with different medications and treatments, but every time I worked out, I was getting a migraine! My neurologist told me to drink Gatorade before, during, and after working out because all the water I was drinking was flushing out the vitamins I was talking to curb my migraines. I also sweat out more of them! Well, let me tell you, I am totally sick of drinking Gatorade! Blech! I went to Whole Foods to look for some kind of electrolyte/vitamin-based drink. And I found one that tastes great!!

The powder is called 365 Everyday Value Electrolyte Plus Powder. I cannot for the life of my find a picture of it; sorry about that! (I threw my last packet away.) It is made with Stevia, so it doesn't have that artificial sugar taste. And it tastes like raspberries! It's just a subtle taste; I really enjoy it. I bought little sample packets for 50 cents each. Next time, I'm going to buy a box!

I also tried Vega One Plant-Based Nutritional Shakes this week. I tried the plant and greens protein shake. They are gluten-free, soy free, dairy free, and have no sugar added. I love them! Whey protein in many kinds of protein shakes really messes with my stomach. I had no problem with these shakes, and they have great flavors! I tried mocha and vanilla chai. I bought two sample packets on sale now at Whole Foods 2/$6. I think I'm going to purchase this as well. I'm leaning toward the mocha flavor. Sooo good! And a great snack! You can also find it at GNC and on Amazon.

Beauty Products

For some reason, my acne has flared up this summer. I was so tired of it that I started researching different solutions online, and then it hit me! I can go to Lush and find some all-natural products for my acne. The woman I talked to there was very helpful! She lead me towards this soap/cleanser: Fresh Farmacy Facial Soap. It has lavender, chamomile, tea tree oil, and rose. It calms the skin and promotes acne healing. It smells great, is gentle, and doesn't dry out my skin.

I also purchased the Tea Tree Toner Water from Lush. It is fabulous! It helps my oily skin and also has been clearing up my acne. After I get out of the shower and wash my skin at night, I spray this on and let it dry before I put on my moisturizer. It's so refreshing!

App

In July I signed up for a free trail of Audible. I listened to books on CD all the time when I was in grad school, driving 50-60 minutes to school from my home. I tried it again this summer! I usually listen before I go to bed and fall asleep listening to a story. It's so relaxing!

The book I got for free was Down the Rabbit Hole by Holly Madison. I have a few more days before my subscription kicks in, and I can't wait to choose another book!

If you sign up, you get your first book free, then you pay $14.99 each month for one book (which are really expensive otherwise!) and then you can also purchase books at discounted prices if you want more than one. You can always cancel your free trial month before 30 days are up. 

Kitchen Product

Bjorn and I like to have breakfast for dinner every once and awhile and love to make pancakes on the weekend. Pancakes, however, always make a mess. I recently heard about a product that Williams Sonoma makes to help with pancake mess! It's called the pancake pen.

You put the mix in the container, shake it up, and squirt as much mix as you want into the pan. You can also put the remaining batter in the fridge (inside the pancake pen) and make more another morning. It also has two twist off ends for easy cleaning. It's super fun!

Have you tried anything new lately?

Love and happiness <3 Holly