I LOVE You ALL Giveaway!

When I started this little blog, I wanted a place to share my experiences living with OCD and anxiety and a place to keep me honest about finding happiness in my life. Just writing alone is such a great outlet for me. The fact that you all stop by and read my blog makes me feel so grateful and happy :) 

To thank all of you for coming on this journey with me and to celebrate the fact that I have made it to 125 followers on Bloglovin, 100 followers on Instagram, 24 Google+ followers, 10 Google friend connect followers, and 76 followers on the Finding My Everyday Happy Facebook page, I am hosting a giveaway! 

I just want to thank all of you for reading, following, stopping by, commenting, believing in me, cheering me on, and being a positive influence in my life.

I hope you'll stick around for my journey on my blog! I have been loving writing, reading your comments, and connecting with so many people through blogging!

I decided for any giveaways that I run to make the rules simple and easy. And I decided to have the prizes always be something related to things that make me happy, so hopefully, they will bring you a little happiness too!

The first giveaway prize is some Arm Candy for you to dress up your favorite everyday outfit. I know I always feel my best when I love the outfit I'm wearing that day, so I found two super cute bracelets for you to wear to work, on a special night out, or on a fun casual day! You can wear them alone or together for a bolder statement! I love stacking bracelets! And those of you who know me, know how much I love fashion!!

Here's a picture of the two bracelets that you could win!

Brick red faux leather snap-closure bracelet with rhinestones (Brand: Anna & Ava)

Gold Link bracelet with faux leather stamped center (Brand: Natasha)

The rules are simple:

1. The giveaway is open for a little over two weeks. 

2. A winner will be chosen at random on Monday, April 21 at midnight and  announced on the blog on Saturday the 19th. The winner will be notified by email. 

3. To enter the contest, you must leave your email address or login with Facebook below in the Rafflecopter form. This is how a winner will be selected at random. No one will be able to see your email address and your email address will not be given out to anyone.

4. The only thing you have to do to enter the giveaway is to leave a comment on this     
post on my blog or on this post's link on my Facebook page found here telling me one thing that has made you happy today. That's it! Easy-peesy. 

5. You can get up to two entries by commenting on my blog and my Facebook page.  And if you comment on my blog and Facebook page, try to tell me two different things that have made you happy! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway 

You can also enter from the Giveaway Tab on my Facebook page! 

Can't wait to see what has made you happy :)

Thanks for reading and following me throughout my journey!

Love and happiness <3 Holly

I Don't Want to Puke!

As a person living with OCD, one of my biggest struggles is illness and germs. Not being sick per se, but being around sick people. Knowing that there are people walking around with seasoned germs, ready to attack my immune system, really gets my OCD going. When someone around me (I know and love) is sick, this sounds crazy, but it completely doesn't bother me. I'm okay with it. I want them to feel better. I try to help them if I can. I don't dwell on the fact that they are ill and could potentially pass on their germs to me that could eventually turn into a flesh-eating bacteria that eats all the skin off the fronts of my legs, so I could never ever again wear a dress without being self-conscious. But we all know, that's my OCD taking that one a little too far. I just deal with it, no undue OCD drama, and move on.

Germs, Eeww!

But that's the truth about my brain. My brain, my crazy, OCD brain, takes illness to a whole new level. Getting a virus can turn into becoming septic in 10 seconds. Seriously--that's how quickly OCD works. That, I cannot control. My brain just goes there; it always has. It doesn't help either that my mom is a nurse. (I know too much about medical terms, conditions, and illnesses.) 

I am also a teacher. This does not bode well for my OCD and my germ issues. However, over the years, I really don't even notice it anymore. I do have my bad days. My first year teaching, I did have a student throw up all over my feet. That was a little intense, to say the least.

Most of the time, when students are sick, I still give them a hug if they ask me to (because it will make them feel better) and test their forehead to see if they're feverish. I just remember to wipe my desks down regularly to keep down the spread of germs. Most of the time, illness doesn't bother me anymore.

The one time it sinks its talons into my brain is when it happens in my own home. Yesterday and today I am using two personal days to hang out with my hubby on spring break. We are both teachers and rarely have the same spring break. I think out of all the years we've been teaching, we've shared one spring break together. After having a rough spring break of my own with an onslaught of migraines, I decided to take two days off to have fun with the hubs during his time off. 

I was so excited! We had some great plans. It was going to be a blast! We were going to hang out at the Cincinnati Art Museum (our wedding venue), go to the zoo (if the weather ever turned a corner), go out to eat one night, and see a movie. These plans all changed when my poor hubby got a horrible stomach bug Wednesday night.

I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to my hubby looking pale as a ghost and telling me that he threw up all night. Just to give you an idea of what my OCD mind was thinking, I'll share the thoughts in my head at the time:

Aaaaagggghhhhhhh! I don't want to get sick!!! He looks awful! I need to help him! Oh, but the germs!!!!

Of course my initial reaction was that of any person whose husband just told her that he was sick all night. It wasn't until a few minutes later that my mind started racing with OCD thoughts. Bjorn and I snuggled on the couch last night! What if his germs are alive and well on the couch having a good ole' time waiting to throw my stomach for a literal loop. I don't want to get sick. I hate throwing up. How can I disinfect the couch? Can I wipe it down with Clorox wipes? I need to disinfect this whole house! Oh my gosh! How I am I going to get all that done? I'm going to be cleaning all day!

After I let my brain runs it crazy thoughts across the finish line, I took a deep breath, got ready to go get my hair done (I had an appointment already schedule yesterday), checked to make sure Bjorn was okay, got my hair done, let him sleep for awhile while I went to the thrift store, and then came home to take care of him. 

I washed some sheets. I made him some soup. I got him some Popsicles and some Gatorade. I even sat next to him in bed and we talked and watched TV for a little while. I didn't obsessively wash my hands. I didn't disinfect the couch. I did worry about getting sick. I did keep wondering when it was going to hit me. As the day went on, I was able to stop my OCD thoughts and just tell myself, "If it happens, it happens. There's nothing I can do about it." So far, I haven't gotten sick (fingers crossed, knock on wood).

Before being able to handle my OCD, I may have Clorox-wiped the couch. Who knows. I'm just glad that it has gotten easier. It isn't always easy, but the easy choice to make was to take care of my hubby because I love him.

I hope you feel better soon, my love. 


Love and happiness <3 Holly

A Hard Reality, But Going Somewhere

Sometimes along this journey of finding my happy, I sit and wonder, is this my happy? Sometimes bad days cloud my vision, and it's harder to see through the sad, the frustrated, and the unknown. 

Over the past few months, I have had a difficult time with my migraines. I have been on a new medication that makes me exhausted. I have no energy, and I don't feel like myself. I feel like, in a sense, I'm in this weird "waiting" place with my migraines. I'm waiting for something to work. Nothing has, and I'm just waiting for the next medication, the next suggestion, the next failure. I know that's a downer, but it's hard to stay positive sometimes. 

A Typical Migraine Night

I keep reminding myself that I am still doing other things that I love, even though I feel like I don't have my life together right now because I'm not feeling the greatest. I'm doing the best I can at the moment with the amount of headaches that I am having. I also realize that some treatments are going to affect me in adverse ways. 

My goal through all of this is to not place crazy expectations on myself.  If I feel exhausted, I need a break. Maybe I'll take a nap. And I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm not pushing myself until I fall over. I need to listen to my body and what is happening right now at this moment in time with my migraines. And right now, my body is telling me, "Whoa, Nelly! Take it easy!!" I am not going to feel guilty because I'm not doing all my usual activities at my usual pace. I'm going to talk to my new doctor when the time comes and roll with the punches. 

This is a reminder to myself that happiness is what I make of it. It is not an expectation set by my anxiety or my OCD:

Shades of Gray

Happiness is black and white with gray around the edges

swirled together like cold milk stirred into a steaming cup of coffee.

Sometimes it's circles of orange, yellow, gold, and red

bobbing across a crisp, ocean blue sky 

radiating heat and fearless energy.

Other times it's mauve polka dots and pale green stripes

riding in and out on the breeze

bringing along a cool sense of calm.

It’s up and down.

It’s stitched and unstitched.

It’s sure and then unsure.

It’s second guessing.

It's always wanting to be somewhere,

but not sure if you’re there yet.

Am I there yet?

Am I there yet?

Soon the asking gets old.

The mind

trained to question again and again

over and over

on repeat

until you realize: 

happiness is black and white with gray around the edges.

I'm in this for the long haul.

Love and happines <3 Holly